I can see a different future: We will build it

"When a dark age comes, just as you would at night, hold the light inside you. Others, I can tell you, have already learned to do the same. In time, you will learn to recognize the light, in yourself and in others. In this way you will find each other. Together, you will make the light stronger. This truth I know as sure as the dawn: Darkness will always yield to light, when the light is strong." — Margaret Lanterman (from Twin Peaks: The Final Dossier by Mark Frost)

Dreaming #

I can see a different future, and that future starts to become a reality as soon as I allow myself to conceptualize it.

After months of introspection, I now recognize that certain empowerment only comes through the pure revolution of belief. I replaced my fear of the unknown with immense curiosity, and I started picturing all the different paths we can take. I gave myself permission to not be concerned about feasibility; I gave myself time and space to envision even what it may have felt out of bounds. In the darkest hours, I dared myself to dream—and I dreamed.

In the wilderness of my mind, I rediscovered and reinvented myself a thousand times. I spent a long time reconciling different visions of myself, and I developed a profound holistic sense of my own personhood. I looked deeply at myself in the mirror of my soul, and I found resilience and a will to keep moving forward in the knowledge that I am needed and wanted as much as I need and want others. I discovered strength and reassurance in the defiance embedded into my very own presence and existence.

Realizing #

At the end of this particularly foggy year, I can see clear roads ahead. In the face of so much challenge, I find myself emboldened by the certainty that I am where I need to be, and I know what I need to do—a deep sense of self-assurance and self-determination I've honestly never felt before. I can help, I will help, and I will keep on helping. I can fight, I will fight, I will keep on fighting. You may call it obstinance; I call it perseverance. The horrors persist, but so do I.

I can imagine a different future, and to get there, I have to keep on building a different present. There’s no way to realize the dreams I’ve dreamed without building bridges anchored in the reality I live in. Dreaming is powerful; actualizing is radical. That actualization starts the moment I tell you that we can join forces to dismantle what haunts and hurts us, and we can build something entirely new together. And it will continue as I elevate your voice, you elevate others, and we protect each other.

I am a survivor of great trauma spanning my childhood, adolescence, and early adulthood. I spent decades of my life thinking that I wouldn't have a future, and fighting for the chance of getting one. But the future awaits us all, and we can shape it. We can — and we will — build it.

🖼 Inspired by the piece "I can imagine a different future" from paperbeatsscissors's vibe for the week series.